Saturday, March 27, 2010

A hormonal basket case?

Yes I am. I figured by now I'd be back to normal. This seems silly to me because it's been three months. After giving birth to Marlee I was a little emotional because she was in the NICU and not home with us. The first day home I completely over did it. I felt great, only minor pain down below, and I went to Walmart and Target to return a few gifts. By the time I got home I whole heartedly regreted my decision. In pain or not I wanted to be at the hospital with my baby. Scot had other plans, he said I needed to stay at home and rest. This devestated me. Marlee needed me, I needed to be there for her. I cried for hours, I didn't want to cry, but I couldn't stop.

Once she came home I was completely happy, no more crying. As time has passed I feel like I've become more emotional. I feel like I cannot protect my daughter now that she is out in the world. We have already gone through so much with her. Our adventure at the Scottish Rite hospital has really put a spin on my emotions. Taken it over the top, I think.

I cry while I feed her. I look at her and I am so overwhelmed with emotions for this beautiful little girl. Emotions I have never felt in my life. I hurt for people I know or don't know who have lost a child. I cannot imagine their pain.

Maybe it's my hormones still trying to settle, or maybe it's Aunt Flo's fault!


  1. Hang in there! But keep an eye on how you are feeling. It took me almost 3 months to realize I had PPD. Your LO is soooo cute!

  2. Thanks girl! PPD is the first thing that popped into my head. I will keep an eye on everything. I think I just expect things to snap back to normal when in reality it's not realistic!